Who's left and who's leaving?

It's just starting to warm up at that time of year in April, but the nights can still be cold and bitter. I didn't wear a heavy jacket, not wanting the responsibility of carrying it throughout the night. Now, standing outside shivering, I regretted that decision. I stood there alone, wondering what had happened to the taxi I had called so long ago. Would it ever come? Did it already come, poached by thoughtless, half-drunk revelers? My so-called friends had left without me, not asking whether I had safely secured a ride home. I passed the minutes by reliving the concert I just witnessed, the first I’d ever gone to alone. It's April 15, 2005, and I just saw the Weakerthans and the Constantines at Le Rendez Vous in St. Boniface. I'm 14 years old, left alone on the sidewalk in front of the venue, waiting for a taxi that will never come.

The first concert I ever saw was November 6, 1999. I had just turned nine years old and my whole family drove down to Fargo to see Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band perform on their Reunion Tour. In the five and a half years that followed, I saw a number of big arena rock type shows, including seeing Aerosmith at the old Winnipeg Arena with my brother and his friend on May 14, 2004, in one of the final concerts that arena hosted before being replaced by the MTS Centre. But as I reached my teenage years I was wanting more from music than classic rock and arena shows could deliver: I wanted something more immediate and intimate.

I still remember where I was when I first heard the Weakerthans. I was in Mme. Gibson's Grade 9 math class at Kelvin High School when Michael Christiansen handed me a burnt CD and said, "This song is about that bridge right over there." It was "Maryland Bridge" by John K. Samson; technically not a Weakerthans song it was released on Samson's "Slips and Tangles" tape during the end of his time with Propagandhi. I remember being spellbound by the sparse guitar and haunting lyrics like, "I'll be J. Edgar Hoover, you be JFK,” with the poetic framing of historical figures speaking to more than one of my interests.

I think the next song on the burnt CD was "One Great City!", at that time a new track off the recently released "Reconstruction Site." I knew Neil Young had lived Winnipeg; I'd even gone to his childhood home on Grosvenor Avenue for a school project in middle school because my mom knew the woman who lived there, but Neil never really sang about Winnipeg. But here were back to back songs where Winnipeg was taking center stage — and not in some jingoistic rah-rah celebration of the city, but in a complex and nuanced portraiture of a complicated and sometimes difficult city to live in, one which nonetheless I loved.

I quickly scored CD copies to each of the three Weakerthans albums to that point; 1997's "Fallow"; 2000's "Left and Leaving"; and 2003's "Reconstruction Site." I listened to them nonstop, quickly learning the esoteric and deeply poetic lyrics off by heart, even if I didn't necessarily understand them. Did I know who Michel Foucault was at 13 or 14 years old? Absolutely not. Did I know all the words to "Our Retired Explorer (Dines with Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961)" off of "Reconstruction Site"? Yes. Yes, I did.

It was also right in this period that I got a CD copy of Toronto-based band the Constantines second album "Shine A Light," which had just been released in summer 2003. That album quickly entered heavy rotation on my discman alongside the three Weakerthans albums (and probably a lot of Radiohead, the Flaming Lips, and Beck, honestly).

So I was understandably thrilled when I heard that not only were the Weakerthans playing their hometown, they were touring with the Constantines! Two of my favourite bands touring together! Playing songs of the albums I had on repeat! I knew I had to go.

At 14, I was starting to get a little bit more freedom. By this point I would have probably gone to the West End Cultural Centre on my own for their annual Joe Strummer tribute show (formative experiences for my young self). But that was relatively close to our West End home, an easy pick up for my parents to do. Le Rendez-Vous was across town in St. Boniface, and somewhere I'd never been before. Still, I was able to convince my parents that I should go, their support buoyed by the fact that many of my Kelvin High School classmates would also be in attendance at the all ages show. I took our family's shared cell phone with me, with instructions on how to call a cab after the show was over.

I got dropped off by my mom early, grabbing a Weakerthans tour shirt from the merch table, throwing it on over my outfit. I spent the show up against the front barricade, singing along to all the songs I knew (most all of them) and cautiously getting into the bit of a mosh pit that formed. My young mind was blown, my ears left ringing.

I'm fairly sure that the cab I called was poached by a bunch of adults who were probably unaware that it had been called by a child who had no idea that that could happen. Michael Christiansen, the same kid who introduced me to the Weakerthans and John K. Samson in the first place, had been there as well, and his mom picked him up from the show but didn't ask me if I had a ride home, nor did she bother to wait to see if my cab would arrive. Instead I was left alone on the sidewalk, waiting for what seemed like an eternity before finally calling my mom to come pick me up.

As I trudged through high school I eventually kind of moved on from the Weakerthans, falling in love first with heavier, weirder music like the Birthday Party, the Jesus Lizard, and the Butthole Surfers, and then with hip-hop sometime in Grade 11 or 12. I remember when the Weakerthans put out their 2007 album “Reunion Tour,” and listening to it at the time, but just as the band was maturing away from the more punk rock sound of their first album “Fallow,” I was intentionally seeking out harder, edgier bands. In 2010, when the Weakerthans performed each of their four albums over four nights at increasingly larger Winnipeg venues, I was not in attendance, although now I wish I had been.

But now in my mid-30s, looking back more on my youth, I began to miss the Weakerthans and their brand of poetic indie rock. I started grabbing those same CDs I had bought 20 years ago to play in the car as I drove around to do errands. So when John K. Samson announced earlier this year that he was coming out of performance retirement to play two shows locally I got excited — until the tickets sold out in mere minutes and I thought I had missed my chance.

Fortunately, Samson decided to do something interesting: give fans a more democratic means of purchasing what were clearly highly sought after tickets by doing a raffle style draw. All you had to do was e-mail him with your interest in attending the now announced third show and he would do a draw of those entrants. If you were drawn you would be contacted about purchasing tickets within 24 hours, and if you couldn't attend or missed the chance they would draw more names until all the spots were filled.

Well, I was thrilled when my name was drawn and I was able to purchase a ticket! I would be seeing one of the songwriters I most looked up to as a teenager live in concert here in Winnipeg again!

The shows are coming up this weekend, happening at a church in River Heights mere steps from Neil Young’s childhood home (the same one I visited for my middle school project), and a short walk from Kelvin High School, where I first heard John’s music and where he, Neil Young, and myself all attended.

I will be there at the Sunday evening show, reliving my youth, remembering fondly the innocent days of burnt CDs, discmans, and shared family flip phones. Swing by cloud nine to say hi if you see me.